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Happily Hafsa

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Instagram post 2154801420786830298_4038845033 And baby makes it the Happily Five!⠀ ⠀ We are so thrilled to share that we welcomed the newest member of our family this weekend! ⠀ ⠀ Adam and Zaydu are completely in love with their new baby brother and we are all excited to embark on this new adventure of figuring out how to be a family of 5.⠀ ⠀ Please remember us and Happily Baby in your prayers- that he be healthy, strong and a source of goodness and joy to all those around him! ⠀ ⠀ And yes- I will now and forever be #momofboys 😍
Instagram post 2151821660892801870_4038845033 Change is hard. It’s also scary. The idea of stepping into the unknown can stop us from doing so many things.⠀ ⠀ However, the reality is that without change, we become stagnant. Our lives become monotonous. We stop learning, growing, developing.⠀ ⠀ When we first found out we had another little one on the way, I was terrified. Ok. I won’t lie. I’m still terrified. I feel like I’ve built my life as it stands today, block by block to be something that works for all of us- where my husband and I are able to give the best of our selves to each other and the two munchkins who are our everything.⠀ ⠀ There’s a lot of fear that comes with stepping into the unknown. How will this new baby be? What will it be like to be officially outnumbered by our kids- to have more kids than hands to hold them? How will the boys adjust? How will we fit 3 car seats in the car? What will it change when it comes to my work? Will Zaydu eat the baby? All real, valid questions I’ve stressed about over the course of this pregnancy.⠀ ⠀ Here’s something that I’ve finally come to realize.⠀ ⠀ Yes- over the next few weeks- our lives are going to transform and change. Things will be different. Maybe Zaydu will get a bite of the baby but I’m hoping we can prevent that from happening (hopefully🤞🏼).⠀ ⠀ But each and every one of us will be better for the change.⠀ ⠀ We will multiply the love in our hearts, our home and our family. Adam will get to practice being an incredible big brother. Zaydu will learn how exciting it is to have someone to boss around. All of us will get to bask in that new baby smell and have the incredible blessing of nurturing and growing another life.⠀ ⠀ What a gift that is.⠀ ⠀ And while I’m sure there will be challenges, sleepless nights, a ton of adjustments, an equal amount of tears and frustration- we will all learn, grow and change and come out better, stronger and more resilient on the other side.⠀ ⠀ Change is coming. Don't quite know when it's going to arrive but here's to hoping that it's a source of goodness for all of us ✨⠀ ⠀ Are you terrified of change or do you embrace it?
Instagram post 2146765956985199791_4038845033 One of the most transformative experiences in my life happened when I stopped caring about making everyone like me. ⠀ ⠀ Yes- I know that’s a hard thing for us to accept. We’re taught from when we’re very young- especially as girls- to be friends with everyone, to be nice and sweet and kind and to acquiesce politely when we’re challenged. ⠀ ⠀ When I first started showing up on Instagram- I would obsessively look at the people who unfollowed me. I’d keep close track of the list of people who watched my stories but never responded or engaged with me. I’d get sad and feel defeated when I shared someone’s recipe, post or story and they didn’t acknowledge it or did so perfunctorily. I would take each unfollow from Instagram and unsubscribe from my email list personally and wonder what I had done wrong. ⠀ ⠀ You guys. I WASTED SO MUCH TIME AND ENERGY on people who weren’t a good fit for me. Looking back- I truly wish I invested all that effort in cultivating deeper, more meaningful relationships with the people who did stick around. ⠀ ⠀ For every 10 people who follow me on Instagram every day or sign up for my email list, at least 2-4 unfollow or unsubscribe. For every person who thinks what I say is amazing and profound, there is an equal number of people who think I’m wrong, are triggered by what I said and can’t stand me and my vibe. ⠀ ⠀ And that’s perfectly ok. ⠀ ⠀ In these last two years, the greatest lesson I’ve learned is that when you’re speaking to everyone- you’re essentially speaking to no one. Too often, in trying to please everyone, we end up losing sight of what we stand for- the things that define our boundaries and the hills we’re willing to die on. ⠀ ⠀ It’s as though a huge weight had fallen off my shoulders. Not everyone likes me- and there’s still a part of me that wishes I was less polarizing. But there’s another part of me- a bigger and happier part that revels in the freedom of being able to connect with and impact the ones who do like what I have to say. And there’s an incredible feeling of freedom that comes with that. ⠀ ⠀ Do you struggle with wanting to have everyone like you and how do you manage that need?
Instagram post 2145292302921297082_4038845033 “Back when I was a young warthog,” I was obsessed with a beauty guru on youtube, Tiffany. I never missed a single video she uploaded.This is before the whole influencer culture had taken the world by storm and there weren’t very stringent rules from the FTC around sponsorship disclosures.⠀ ⠀ I- in what my husband lovingly calls my sheep-ness,” thought she was buying these cool new products that she’d share and I’d run off to buy all the must-have stuff I saw on her channel.⠀ ⠀ Oh the $$ I blew on makeup!⠀ ⠀ I truly believe Influencers fill an incredible niche, bringing new products and ideas to their communities. I just struggle with the weight of responsibility that entails and don’t believe that niche is for me.⠀ ⠀ Partly due to this experience, one of my rules for Instagram is that I will “very” rarely do sponsored posts. I almost never accept a free product for a review and the rare sponsored content I do has to be a perfect fit.⠀ ⠀ Recently, I had a small business reach out to offer a free product in exchange for a review. I politely declined.⠀ ⠀ She was SO upset with me. She threw me the trifecta of the guilt trip: how could I preach about collaboration over competition when I couldn't support a fellow “Muslim, entrepreneur, mom?!”⠀ ⠀ This was a learning moment for both.⠀ ⠀ For me, this was a reminder that our worldviews are shaped by our experiences. We cannot live up to other people's expectations of us if they demand us compromising our boundaries. This is paramount in both our personal and professional lives. We need to be better at communicating why those boundaries exist if someone needs clarification.⠀ ⠀ For her- this was a lesson in learning to take a "no" in a constructive manner without rushing to judgment and remembering that our needs do not supersede other people's values. You cannot use faith, motherhood and a common goal to guilt someone into supporting you. That's not the way to build a successful business or a robust marketing strategy.⠀ ⠀ At least I hope that's what she took from it. She blocked me so I don't know what's going on 😂 ⠀ Have you ever felt guilt to compromise your personal or professional boundaries to spare feelings?
Instagram post 2141626869013992858_4038845033 You know what’s a very common DM or comment that I get?⠀ ⠀ “I don’t know how you do it.”⠀ ⠀ And it always takes me aback. I’m not going to go all super mommy on you and say that it’s easy to run a business, manage a family, and focus on self-care while staying sane.⠀ ⠀ Motherhood is one of the hardest things you’ll do and we all face real challenges that are unique to all of us.⠀ ⠀ And I’m far from the only one.⠀ ⠀ Look at @salamsudduf who runs an incredible empire of complimentary and thriving projects that support and empower Muslim women entrepreneurs while having triplets.⠀ ⠀ Look at @lisacanning who wrote an amazing and inspiring book reminding moms of the possibilities of motherhood with 7 children and one more on the way.⠀ ⠀ Look at @lindsayandco who is going for her dream, launching a community for tech-savvy entrepreneurs, and setting an example for her daughter while being a single mom.⠀ ⠀ Look at @handmadebeginnings who continues to inspire and innovate with amazing new ideas while living her passion and purpose.⠀ ⠀ Look at @confessionsofamuslimmom who is resolute and fearless in her beliefs and is constantly working to educate on the new ways of thinking and doing.⠀ ⠀ Look at @mintcandydesigns who made difficult choices and sacrificed the easy road to live on her own with her daughter and finish her PhD all the while sharing her journey to inspire and motivate others.⠀ ⠀ Look at @meaganawilliamson who has leveraged the power of something as simple as Pinterest to build an incredible business that allows her the time and freedom to parent on her own terms.⠀ ⠀ I could go on and on and on. The examples of moms who are managing mom life and also breaking barriers, challenging norms and achieving success is endless.⠀ ⠀ And these moms don’t have a magic wand. They don’t have a few extra hidden hours in their day. They don’t have superpowers that suddenly allow them to do more than normal.⠀ ⠀ But they are all living examples that impossible is nothing if you truly want to accomplish something. And it all starts with having the right mindset.⠀ ⠀ In the meantime, I want to hear what stops you from going after your dreams as a mom?
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